Brainwaves - Odds and Ends

Alibis

The BEST ALIBI a man can have in the world is a

WOMAN

Just one of these supplies you with cover for doing the craziest things imaginable. They provide, for instance, the only possible justification for getting married.

Advantages:

(1) Photogenic.

(2) Very comfortable on the lap, depending on weight.

(3) Can probably cook better than you can.

(4) The best ones provide excellent long term cover (but see Judges 16:4-22).

(5) Fully mobile.

Disadvantages:

(1) Expensive, especially if they want to wear clothes.

The SECOND BEST ALIBI a man can have is a

DOG

(other competitor for the title "Man's Best Friend", excluding a beermug).

Advantages:

(1) Photogenic.

(2) Very comfortable on the lap, depending on weight.

(3) Guaranteed faithful for whole of life.

(4) Cheap (do not wear clothes).

Disadvantages:

(1) Unable to cook (at least according to the representative sample tested).

(2) Have to be carried up escalators.

USEFUL TIP, bimodally applicable:

HANDLE WITH CARE (this may take a lifetime's practice, but is well worth it in both cases).

MBM,

B/W 10.9.2, am.