BRAINWAVES
VII.  Odds and Ends
Alibis The BEST ALIBI a man can have in the world is a WOMAN Just one of these supplies you with cover for doing the craziest things imaginable. They provide, for instance, the only possible justification for getting married. Advantages: (1) Photogenic. (2) Very comfortable on the lap, depending on weight. (3) Can probably cook better than you can. (4) The best ones provide excellent long term cover (but see Judges 16:4-22). (5) Fully mobile. Disadvantages: (1) Expensive, especially if they want to wear clothes.   The SECOND BEST ALIBI a man can have is a DOG (other competitor for the title "Man's Best Friend", excluding a beermug). Advantages: (1) Photogenic. (2) Very comfortable on the lap, depending on weight. (3) Guaranteed faithful for whole of life. (4) Cheap (do not wear clothes). Disadvantages: (1) Unable to cook (at least according to the representative sample tested). (2) Have to be carried up escalators.   USEFUL TIP , bimodally applicable: HANDLE WITH CARE (this may take a lifetime's practice, but is well worth it in both cases).   MBM, B/W 10.9.2, am.